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Though I was a good student in my school,there was lot of problems at home,since my mother was not feeling well.She was just about bed-ridden and needed constant attention. I wanted to go to college and continue my studies but could not leave my mother alone.I chose to be at home so that my father a government employee could work and earn.I had a younger sister and a brother to look after.BUT for correspondence course I would have been an undergraduate!Though I did my schooling in Science as major subjectts, unlike today except Mathematics there were no science subjects offered in distance education.So,I had to take History as my main subject for my BA, much against my wishes!When I finished my Bachelor's degree in History in first class, I wanted to do either B.ED or MA.But couldn't.Due to two reasons

a) my mother's health; and
b) a misconception that if I studied more,then getting prospective Bridegrooms would be difficult!!!

Marriage and emplyment opportunities were coming thick and fast, but I realized that if I were to marry and go then my younger siblings would not even be able to finish their schooling and my father would need to resign from his job....I pondered over it.... Marriage? Some body must be there for me!When the time comes like any body else I will get married some day! Job? Well, some day I can get that too and earn decent money! But my family's life was more important to me.I strictly told my father not to "see" any bridegrooms for me and nor was I going for any job!

My father agreed, but made me realize that such opportunities "might" not come again!I shrugged and left it at that!

Life went on....My sister just about finished her BA final exam when she fell sick.It was diagonized as blood cancer....we were shocked....tried hard to save her but....lost her on a Christmas eve.The shock was too much for my sick mother...within 10 months we lost her too.It IS a irrepairable loss....

Meanwhile I and my father encouraged my brother to do his Bachelor's degree in Engineering and when we thought he is coming up in his life he left us to live alone, away from us.

I thought...God help me..now what? I realized I had done whatever my duties demanded as far as my family members were concerned. I wanted to do some thing for myself.I am indepted to my father and a cousin brother of mine who were responsible for me to pursue my studies again!They wanted me to do either MA or BL!Father brought the prospectus and I enrolled myself for my Masters in Information Technology!It was not easy to convince my father since he said after doing history and long 18 years break- would that be possible? I assured him that if he is a communication man(worked in Telephones department and has commissioned about 14 projects in Ordnance factories!),his genes are there in my blood too! Convinced, he let me do it enthusiastically! Again, after that he and my friends encouraged me to do my M.Phil degree too! Now,I am working as a part-time lecturer for love of teaching and sharing the knowledge with my students and am getting serious about doing business on-line and want to make good honest money by honest means!

See,....Life always gives us a fair chance,isn't it?I never even dreamt that I would come this far,would be able to share my feelings and experiences with everybody....I can only thank God for that!I never for once regret any of my decisions....since I have learnt that to live for oneself is easy.....but to live for others is really hard...and a real challenge.....!Let's think of our "duties" first,"rights" will follow!